Wednesday, September 21, 2011

the new simplification

So nearly one year ago I began a public (well however many people that read this blog qualifies it as 'public') quest for simplification in my life.
I desired to eliminate distractions in my life and also add in inspiration and growth.
Overall, a lot of it worked!
I met goals and practiced discipline
I had accountability from this blog, my husband, and friends (so thankful!)
and yet....

Here I am...nearly one year later...and I feel as if I've recently taken steps backwards....
I reactivated facebook for several reasons...but still I struggle with my time spent on it and the anxiety I let it cause me through reading about others and reading into what they say
I have been glued to the t.v. this summer - even though we don't have dish and we cancelled Netflix!
I haven't exercised much this summer (I only did 15 days of the 30 day shred...)
I was barely in the word daily this summer while I did an intense 11 week Beth Moore study
(So wow, that was a depressing list...)

But I did graduate this year!
I enjoy spending more time with Mylin and focus on our time together when we're at home
And Joel and I have gotten into a groove of spending time together in the evenings and going on regular dates
We have really enjoyed doing double dates a lot this year with wonderful like-minded friends
I even changed all of my responsibilities to that I could focus a lot of my time on MomLife - a ministry that I want to invest my energy in, not spread it thin with the several other ministries I was trying to be partly involved in
I have also been seeing a counselor for about 3 months to deal with my anxiety in a few specific relationships I have struggled with for years

Though I looong for something more...so much more for my life, my family, ministry that I can glorify God through...
I come home on Sunday afternoons encouraged and passionate about what we are taught and challenged with
Meeting with my MomLife leadership team I am energized with ideas and infatuated with the relationships I am building through this ministry
All I want to do is sit down and discuss with everyone else their view and opinions on adoption, living in community, the radical experiment, how to decipher when sermons/teachers are contradicting, whether to homeschool or not, and how to be disciplined in daily scripture reading and regular exercise...
Is my list too long?
How and where do I even start?!

I wish I had someone (or a couple, for Joel and I) to partner with us and come alongside to guide, direct, and mentor us...
Someone once told me all I needed was the Bible and the Holy Spirit...but I struggle to trust that - even though I know I can...and should...

Where do I go from here?
I think I'll begin by praying (and practicing self-discipline!)...

In what ways and in what areas can I be praying for your growth?!
I would be privileged to keep you accoutable too

3 comments:

  1. I miss our time together and so wish we could be that couple for you in person. We're here for you despite the physical distance.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A few things your blog brought to mind that I too want to make happen in my life (well, maybe should say ask the Lord to make happen if He desires). A month or so ago I read about friendships as a couple and that as a couple you should have 2 couples you spend regular time with. Jeff and I have one couple...our longtime friends we have vacationed with and spend once a month going to each other's houses but not sure who the Lord wants the other couple to be. I personally want that second couple to be a mentoring couple. I kind of have an idea who I think it could be, but I'm not sure and I'm not sure how to go about it so I need to pray more about it. Secondly, in my recent reading, the gal I told you about had a mentorship relationship through email. I've always thought it needed to be in person but I've asked a few and it has fell through leaving me so discouraged. So I emailed a woman that has been instrumental in my life telling her of my recent frustrations and we are going to have a phone date today! She lives out of state but I realized that she could still be a mentor to me even though she doesn't live here. As a side note I was thinking that the new FB is quite annoying and because of that its easy not to spend much time on!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am continually amazed and in awe of your vulnerability and willingness to be publicly genuine! How refreshing, inspiring, and challenging! I have, for months, been praying for this "mythical" couple you speak of for us as well. While I am in complete agreement that the Word and Holy Spirit should be enough, I struggle with the tangibility of it. I long for the verbal reassurance, advice and physical closeness of a mentoring relationship. I have yet to find that couple, or even person to guide us. I will begin to pray that you are able to find that couple - sooner rather than later as well!

    I wish I could give you some applicable advice in regard to each of your struggles..... but I am echoing the majority of them myself :(. I am grateful we can at least be accountable to each other. I love you!

    ReplyDelete