After the longest first trimester ever...we were given the due date of June 5th, 2012...which I was
So (we've) I've been telling everyone for the past several months we're due 'at the end of May' figuring that gives us a little cushion and doesn't lock us down to a date
Well...it seems as though we may really not be expecting the arrival of this undeserved blessing until the month of June!
This is hard for me to swallow... :(
I have been battling high hopes, broken expectations, and depression these last few weeks
I am SO anxious and excited for baby to come I can hardly stand it!
It is pretty much ALL I think about:
"Was that a contraction?"
"Will my water break if I walk around the zoo all morning?"
"I kind of want to mow so I can wear myself out...maybe that'll start labor..."
After the emotional battle of the last few weeks I am so thankful that through desperate prayer and seeking, God has really given me peace and freedom over this situation
I have been thinking that I could control this situation somehow!
Ha! What a delusion...
Now I know many people are given the option of some kind of control over births - and for a lot of us that is for our safety or our child's safety
But at this point, I am feeling so good and my pregnancy is going so well, that there is no risk!
God has been using friends to speak truth into my life about my perspective as well
Everything from: Remembering at the beginning of this pregnancy we weren't sure if Wee One would survive to this point or not...so I am so thankful to still be pregnant!
To: A friend of mine delivering her daughter at 26 weeks (which was just over a week ago) and us being reminded how thankful we are for the healthy pregnancy He has blessed us with
Thank you God for these reminders - and please comfort and heal those who have not been blessed in this area
Because we desperately want a VBAC with this birth (after about 26 hours of labor with Mylin I had her via c-section), my options of 'inducing' labor are even more limited...like pretty much I cannot be medically induced (which I have no desire to be)
BUT my doctor said if I did change my mind and wanted to do a c-section I could schedule that at any time...like I could have had the baby last week...
I'd be a liar if I didn't say that offer wasn't tempting!
I know that we want to have the option to experience a vaginal birth...and if it isn't with this baby - I won't be able to (Around here no one will let you try a VBAC after 2 consecutive c-sections)
SO, for now I am set to let this baby come on it's own, in God's timing...
But I sure am praying daily "Please let it be today!"
One of these days, it will be :)